Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Beach Baby
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Gone too soon
My dad never really lost a loved one until his father passed away at the age of 89. At that time my father was in his 60's and his father had lived a long life. He never had to experience the sadness of seeing someone you love have their life cut short.
I wish I could say the same thing. I feel like at my young age I have had to grieve a lot more than I would wish upon anyone.
A month before my wedding I received a phone call from my best friend. When I picked up the phone I heard him crying. He said she had been in a car accident and died. His girlfriend was gone. Just like that. I felt my heart break for my friend. I don't remember what I said to him. I don't know if I tried to tell him it will be "ok". Really all I remember is crying with him on the phone. I had only met her briefly a few days before , but her death effected me. More than I thought it would. I was hurting for my friend and I thought I knew (somewhat) what my friend must be going through.
It wasn't until a year later that I truly understood. Another friend had been having a rough time. He had made some bad decisions. Chosen the wrong friends. It wasn't anything that he couldn't overcome with time, but he didn't know that. He felt like what he had done could not be undone. He felt guilty of his actions and felt that their was no way out. He took his life. I received another phone call that changed my life forever. "Deane is dead". I can't remember for sure, but I think my reaction was (after I could breathe) was to scream "WHAT?" and immediately burst into tears. I always considered him one of my soul mates. I have been blessed to have a few of those. Ya know, people that just understand you. The ones that you allow to see you at 3 am when you are REALLY tired and acting like an idiot. The ones that like you that way. The ones who understand your sense of humor because they have the same one. You have inside jokes that NEVER get old. Yeah, he was one of those. He will have been gone for 3 years this October and although I may not cry everyday or week or maybe month, I still have days here and there that I will break down and cry. I miss him.
If that wasn't enough...Last year I lost ANOTHER close friend. This particular friend had been battling addiction for quite some time. I heard him express over and over again that he wanted to be past these problems and start living a happy life. That alone made me sad. To me, that meant until he felt he had truly beat his addictions, he was unhappy, like constantly. I worried about him. I was scared that something would happen to him. To be honest, I thought it was going to be an overdose of some kind. He had confided in me that I wasn't too off about that because it had almost happened before. Then it came...another phone call. Only he didn't die of a drug or alcohol overdose, at least not directly. Instead, he had tried to rob a store and was shot. When I first heard Corey had died. I think I felt numb. I felt sad, but I didn't cry right away. I wasn't able to attend his funeral because I live out of state, but I did go to his grave site shortly after. I didn't cry there either. I don't know if it was because there was not a headstone yet or if something was protecting my heart from breaking again. I thought there was something wrong with me. I wondered to myself if I was getting "used to" losing people and that this is how I was going to be from now on. Void of emotion. My friend gave me a funeral program and I hung it on my picture board. I see it everyday along with a picture of my other friends grave site and one day. BAM! It finally hit me. It was going to be a very long time before I get to see my friend. When I think about Corey I remember his sweetness. He was way more sentimental than anyone would have ever thought. He always made sure to address me by my name like he wanted me to know he knew exactly who he was talking to and he always said I love you when getting off of a phone call. Corey may have liked to sit back and watch , but I in some way knew that if ever I needed his help he would be there. Like if someone were in my face he would be right there to defend my honor. Like a brother would be. He was very protective. It is nice knowing you have someone like that one your side.
I received this link today to a video in Corey's memory. I didn't even get two seconds in before I started crying. He just looks so sweet and innocent and it makes me so sad....mad even, that drugs and alcohol ever entered his life. I miss him.
http://www.youtube.com/wat
Having a child of my own now. My heart aches just at the thought of something happening to my daughter. Whether it is a tragic car accident, suicide, drugs, alcohol, etc... All I can do is pray that she will be strong enough to overcome any trial that may come her way. I hope she has a strong testimony of the gospel and is able to make good decisions. I hope that she is able to have friends as wonderful as mine and love them flaws and all.
I wish I could say the same thing. I feel like at my young age I have had to grieve a lot more than I would wish upon anyone.
A month before my wedding I received a phone call from my best friend. When I picked up the phone I heard him crying. He said she had been in a car accident and died. His girlfriend was gone. Just like that. I felt my heart break for my friend. I don't remember what I said to him. I don't know if I tried to tell him it will be "ok". Really all I remember is crying with him on the phone. I had only met her briefly a few days before , but her death effected me. More than I thought it would. I was hurting for my friend and I thought I knew (somewhat) what my friend must be going through.
It wasn't until a year later that I truly understood. Another friend had been having a rough time. He had made some bad decisions. Chosen the wrong friends. It wasn't anything that he couldn't overcome with time, but he didn't know that. He felt like what he had done could not be undone. He felt guilty of his actions and felt that their was no way out. He took his life. I received another phone call that changed my life forever. "Deane is dead". I can't remember for sure, but I think my reaction was (after I could breathe) was to scream "WHAT?" and immediately burst into tears. I always considered him one of my soul mates. I have been blessed to have a few of those. Ya know, people that just understand you. The ones that you allow to see you at 3 am when you are REALLY tired and acting like an idiot. The ones that like you that way. The ones who understand your sense of humor because they have the same one. You have inside jokes that NEVER get old. Yeah, he was one of those. He will have been gone for 3 years this October and although I may not cry everyday or week or maybe month, I still have days here and there that I will break down and cry. I miss him.
If that wasn't enough...Last year I lost ANOTHER close friend. This particular friend had been battling addiction for quite some time. I heard him express over and over again that he wanted to be past these problems and start living a happy life. That alone made me sad. To me, that meant until he felt he had truly beat his addictions, he was unhappy, like constantly. I worried about him. I was scared that something would happen to him. To be honest, I thought it was going to be an overdose of some kind. He had confided in me that I wasn't too off about that because it had almost happened before. Then it came...another phone call. Only he didn't die of a drug or alcohol overdose, at least not directly. Instead, he had tried to rob a store and was shot. When I first heard Corey had died. I think I felt numb. I felt sad, but I didn't cry right away. I wasn't able to attend his funeral because I live out of state, but I did go to his grave site shortly after. I didn't cry there either. I don't know if it was because there was not a headstone yet or if something was protecting my heart from breaking again. I thought there was something wrong with me. I wondered to myself if I was getting "used to" losing people and that this is how I was going to be from now on. Void of emotion. My friend gave me a funeral program and I hung it on my picture board. I see it everyday along with a picture of my other friends grave site and one day. BAM! It finally hit me. It was going to be a very long time before I get to see my friend. When I think about Corey I remember his sweetness. He was way more sentimental than anyone would have ever thought. He always made sure to address me by my name like he wanted me to know he knew exactly who he was talking to and he always said I love you when getting off of a phone call. Corey may have liked to sit back and watch , but I in some way knew that if ever I needed his help he would be there. Like if someone were in my face he would be right there to defend my honor. Like a brother would be. He was very protective. It is nice knowing you have someone like that one your side.
I received this link today to a video in Corey's memory. I didn't even get two seconds in before I started crying. He just looks so sweet and innocent and it makes me so sad....mad even, that drugs and alcohol ever entered his life. I miss him.
http://www.youtube.com/wat
Having a child of my own now. My heart aches just at the thought of something happening to my daughter. Whether it is a tragic car accident, suicide, drugs, alcohol, etc... All I can do is pray that she will be strong enough to overcome any trial that may come her way. I hope she has a strong testimony of the gospel and is able to make good decisions. I hope that she is able to have friends as wonderful as mine and love them flaws and all.
Monday, July 12, 2010
A quick visit
This weekend we got to see our good friends David and Sarah. They moved from California to Missouri two years ago and we have missed hanging out with them. I actually grew up with David in Alabama and it is always nice to see someone you have known for so long.
David and Sarah have 10 1/2 month old twins and it was so fun to see them and to have them meet Morgan for the first time. I went and spent time with Sarah and the babies on Friday and then Kevin and I both went back on Sunday for dinner. It was so nice to see them and i'm sad they have to go back home.
Here is Sarah with Liam and Kielty
This isn't the best picture because the sun is in poor kielty's eyes, but I wanted to compare their sizes. Morgan is pretty much the same size as little kielty and she is 3 months older.
It was great to see you Joyce family! We will miss you and hopefully it won't be another two years before we see you again.
David and Sarah have 10 1/2 month old twins and it was so fun to see them and to have them meet Morgan for the first time. I went and spent time with Sarah and the babies on Friday and then Kevin and I both went back on Sunday for dinner. It was so nice to see them and i'm sad they have to go back home.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Baby in the mirror
Morgan has gotten to that stage where she loves looking in the mirror. It is nice because she can entertain herself for a while and I am able to get some stuff done.
sometimes she does a little dance and loves seeing the baby in the mirror dancing back.
As I was sitting here watching her she leaned forward and BAM hit her head against the mirror. I silently gasped and waited for her reaction. I wasn't expecting for her to sit up, look at me, and then turn right back around and do it again and AGAIN. I had to pull her away because it didn't phase her and she started getting a red mark on her forehead. (actually if you go up and look at the first picture again you can see it!)
"Woah look mom there is a baby in the mirror!"
This next picture is of a face that Kevin and I see often. She likes to squnch up her nose and breath in and out really fast. Sort of an attempt at a snort. It is pretty funny and she loves it when we mimic her.
What a silly little girl.
This next picture is of a face that Kevin and I see often. She likes to squnch up her nose and breath in and out really fast. Sort of an attempt at a snort. It is pretty funny and she loves it when we mimic her.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The helmet and the cowboy hat
Kevin would wear helmets when he raced jet skiis. I saw this helmet on his dresser the other day and I noticed how HUGE it was compared to little Morgan's head. So naturally I thought it would be funny to have her try it on.
Whenever Kevin would go out of town for work he would bring me back a present. Well present might be the wrong word because he had some fun picking out gifts that were not the most desirable items. When he went to Canada he brought back a little stuffed Canadian Mounty Moose (which was actually cute). I can't remember where he was when he bought me the Snuggie knock off made out of towel material and when he went to Texas he brought me back a bright blue cowboy hat. Since it never gets to be worn I thought Morgan might like to try it on.
Ride 'em cowgirl!
Whenever Kevin would go out of town for work he would bring me back a present. Well present might be the wrong word because he had some fun picking out gifts that were not the most desirable items. When he went to Canada he brought back a little stuffed Canadian Mounty Moose (which was actually cute). I can't remember where he was when he bought me the Snuggie knock off made out of towel material and when he went to Texas he brought me back a bright blue cowboy hat. Since it never gets to be worn I thought Morgan might like to try it on.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
4th of July weekend
To celebrate the holiday this year our friends, the Wilson's, came over for a cook out. (that is my southern verbiage for ya) We had the traditional hamburgers and hot dogs along with some yummy guacamole that Joey made. For dessert I made these! They were so good!
Kevin pulled his charger out of the garage to show Joey and that just ended up where we took some family pictures.
We live one street over from a military base and every year they have a street carnival with games and bounce houses and they also have a fireworks show. This was the first year we actually went and it was fun. I was actually impressed because Morgan actually watched the fireworks. She didn't turn away she was interested the whole time.
Monday morning Joey and Christina came over again, but this time without their kids. Kevin and Joey stayed home and played video games and Christina and I went to see Eclipse. I must say I enjoyed this movie better than the other two. The acting was much better and you got to actually see the interaction between Edward and Bella and maybe see some chemistry.
I came home to a screaming Morgan. She is teething now and Kevin went through the whole list of things Diaper, bottle, singing, rocking, gum numbing medicine, but nothing worked. It seemed that the only thing she wanted was me. I came home and I was able to rock her and sing to her to calm her down. Has anyone else had this problem? Has your kid just wanted you? It is kind of frustrating because I don't want that to happen if we ever leave her with a sitter, but I am hoping it is just during this teething time and she will grow out of it. Mothers if you have any tips...please pass them on!
I hope everyone had a nice relaxing weekend. Now back to normal life again :)
Kevin pulled his charger out of the garage to show Joey and that just ended up where we took some family pictures.
Monday morning Joey and Christina came over again, but this time without their kids. Kevin and Joey stayed home and played video games and Christina and I went to see Eclipse. I must say I enjoyed this movie better than the other two. The acting was much better and you got to actually see the interaction between Edward and Bella and maybe see some chemistry.
I came home to a screaming Morgan. She is teething now and Kevin went through the whole list of things Diaper, bottle, singing, rocking, gum numbing medicine, but nothing worked. It seemed that the only thing she wanted was me. I came home and I was able to rock her and sing to her to calm her down. Has anyone else had this problem? Has your kid just wanted you? It is kind of frustrating because I don't want that to happen if we ever leave her with a sitter, but I am hoping it is just during this teething time and she will grow out of it. Mothers if you have any tips...please pass them on!
I hope everyone had a nice relaxing weekend. Now back to normal life again :)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
One sunny afternoon
Friday, July 2, 2010
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